It’s New York baby

Good afternoon and welcome to midtown Manhattan. Yes I finally made it out of the country and am sat in my suite at the Waldorf Astoria on Park Avenue. I have been busy hosting a meeting of my American fan club. I have so much to tell you when I get back. All I can say is that the suite is quite considerably bigger than that man’s flat in London.

It is all go but I will fill you all in on my return. I am back off to Trump Tower to join the demonstrations outside it. What larks eh.

In the meantime a huge Cliff wing wave to Aunty Jen and Aunty Michelle and thank you for a wonderful weekend.

Bob escapes!

Morning all. It is a lovely morning here in the Eyrie. Cool but bright and we have got our windows open to air the place. That means that Bob escaped our security cordon and got out to see how the Geraniums were doing. He was in for a bit of a shock as this photo montage shows.

He got out and saw a scene of devastation. He said to himself-I am sure that there were plants here before. I am a bit confused. You can see that in the quizzical look on his face.

I'm sure there were plants here before!

I’m sure there were plants here before!

Anyway he carried on and had a sudden thought. Where are the Barries?

Where have my Crocus gone?

Where have my Crocus gone?

We have explained to him about bulbs so he is happy about that now.

Anyway we were worried about him being “Papped” by the local media desperate for a story as his cover is gone.

Bob trying to avoid the Paparsazzi

Bob trying to avoid the Paparsazzi

He came in at this point and we thought you might like a general shot of the devastation. Those plants are not going to do whatever they did again in a hurry I can tell you.

They won't do that again in a hurry

They won’t do that again in a hurry

We hope that you have enjoyed our little photo montage.

Christmas has come early

Afternoon all and welcome. It is a peaceful afternoon here in the Eyrie and we are all just waking up from our nap. I am feeling quite refreshed and will be even more refreshed when I have had a drink a little bit later on!

That man and I are having a very interesting debate that others can join in on if they feel like it. We are listening to the Spice Girls and are listening to hear if we can actually hear Posh Spice on any of their recordings. That man thinks that he can identify her but I am not so sure. After all she didn’t really sing on any of her own records. She is better off as a fashion icon and married to that nice Mr Beckham if you ask me. If anyone has any information that will help solve this puzzle for us then we would be happy to hear it. Alternatively if you would like to share which Spice Girl you would like to be that would be fine as well. I think that I would be Boozy Spice for obvious reasons. As you can see we are on top of all the crucial events in the world at the moment.

The world of politics has kept us quite enthralled this week. First of all we had a scuffle between two UKIP MEPs which ended up with one of them in hospital. Then their leader resigned and Nigel Farrage is back in charge. Then we have had some very unsavoury remarks from that d***head Donald Trump. What a nasty piece of work he is turning out to be. Not long to go now and we are looking forward to the next debate on Sunday night.

Meanwhile in what is turning into an annual ritual the Geraniums have upset that man and he has given them a good cutback in revenge. It looks a bit bleak out there at the moment and young Bob/Russel is now banned from going out. His natural cover has gone and he would be vulnerable to paparazzi shooting him from a distance. We will have to hope that they grow back before too long or we will have to listen to his bell all winter. Speaking of Bob he has managed to land himself a new role. He is going to be the judge of a Christmas decoration contest. He will ring his little bell and then sit in the middle of a grotto scene which, if that mans has got anything to do with it, will have a heavy emphasis on the grot side of things! Pure genius to ask him to do it!

It is nearly lighting up time again. Saturday night is candle night and that man likes to get them lit early so that I don’t notice what is going on. Some hope on that front. I am ready with my lighter to light the way for him. What fun it will be. Family film night by candlelight and not because he forgot to put a shilling inf the meter. We hope that you all enjoy Saturday night whatever you are doing.

Autumn rustles

Afternoon all. A pinch and a punch and all that to you all. Yes October has arrived in a flurry of sunshine and showers here in the Eyrie. The weather outside has been quite changeable as well!

Well what has been going on? Autumn has definitely arrived and the leaves in the garden are starting to turn colour and taking on a bit more of a yellow hue. I don’t think that it will be long before they start falling off and creating exciting piles of foliage for us to all forage in. We all like a good forage as you never know what will turn up. In my case it is normally a nice little bottle of something as I can hide them in the foliage so the old misery doesn’t know the extent of my collection of bottles. We do have a small problem with Bob the Sheep though. Not again I can hear you saying. Yes that sheep is as high maintenance as it gets. Think a very needy super model and you get some idea of the extent of our problems with him. Anyway my problem with him is that he wants to go out and forage with the rest of us. The worry is that he will simply get buried under a little pile of leaves and be lost to us until that man sweeps up sometime in the spring. Now some of our number are good at hibernating but I don’t think that young Robert falls into that category as sheep aren’t famed for their abilities in this area of life. That man asked Uncle Tache about it all and he solved the problem by simply suggesting that we change Bob’s name to Russell. So Russell it is for the autumn period. Simple really.

To continue the autumnal theme that man went out and topped up the window boxes with some nice compost and they all look better for it. He also added in some bulbs so that will be nice in the spring time as well. Of course the Barries are still lying dormant and it will be nice to see how they come out. We do like our bulbs here in the Eyrie you know.

In a bit of a sneak preview I might be going on my travels in a little while. There is a small possibility that I might be allowed to actually leave the country. More will follow but I am getting quite excited as I have heard talk of a private jet ready to whisk me over the Atlantic. On the other hand that man has also been bringing home some padded envelopes and saying that if we posted you surface mail now we could meet you over there. Rather strangely I don’t think he is thinking of a state room on the QE2. More like little Leo in Titanic if you ask me. Time will tell on this one but I am cautiously optimistic that I can sneak in to a bag one way or another. Trust me once I am on board it will be Champagne all the way!

Now where is young Russell? I think it is time to go and find some Conkers.

200 not out

Afternoon all. Worry not your good friend and spiritual guide is back to care and share with my little flock. Only kidding the only spiritual guidance you will get from this particular Eagle is what good offers on Gin they have got in the local supermarket.

What a difference a day makes as someone once sang. On Thursday we were all sat and perspiring quite freely as it was 30 degrees for the third day running. The nights were hot and sticky and tempers were getting frayed. Now we are back to normal and there is wild talk of putting a woolly on to keep warm. What happened I hear you cry? Well there was a massive thunder storm on Thursday night into Friday morning. Lots of thunder and lightning and it was made much worse by having to keep a close eye on Bob the Sheep who wanted to go out and see if he would attract any lighting to his little bell. Honestly that sheep hasn’t got the sense he was knitted with if you ask me. It was like a scene from a Gothic horror novel and I was quite glad to see that man for once who was woken up by all of the noise. He quickly restored order by the simple act of putting Bob in a drawer with Mr Jip and strict instructions that he was to do everything that Mr Jip told him. That worked a treat I can tell you and order was restored. Well all of this rain resulted in a landslide just outside Watford which derailed a train running into Euston from the Midlands. Now the more intelligent of you will be muttering to yourselves that this is even more irrelevant than normal and I have really lost the plot. Not at all and don’t be so cheeky in the future. Uncle Tache was on the train behind the one that derailed and he wasn’t too happy about it as he was stuck on the train for two hours. If you ask me he should have ripped off his red petticoat and run up the tracks waving it like mad but that is quite an unpopular view for some reason that I don’t understand. A bit of a dramatic start to a Friday morning if you ask me.

Later on Friday got quite funny as that man returned quite merry. What had happened I hear you cry? The solution was surprisingly easy. Uncle Tache had taken him out for a couple of glasses of Champagne at the Royal Exchange and we had to deal with he consequences of this in the form of a very p****d that man. We have cleaned up now but I had to deal with the indignity of having my feathers ruffled and being told that I love you really even though we fight all the time. It was like a scene from Bridget Jones’ Diary. Anyway I took the liberty of taking some pictures to stash away for future use/blackmail purposes so not an entirely wasted evening after all.

We have continued to watch the Paralympics and we have really enjoyed it. As with the Olympics we have won more medals than we did at our home games and there are still some possible ones left to compete for. I think we know what we will be watching this evening.

The more observant of you ¬†will know that this is posting number 200 and I wanted to send out a big Cliffie wing wave to all of you to mark the occasion. Thank you for following our random ramblings and we hope that you will continue to enjoy hearing all about our little adventures. We also thought you might like to see this picture showing some of the crew out and about at a recent certain social occasion. Doesn’t Andrew look carefree and happy and Bob looks quite intellectual in this pose. All in all a remarkable picture. If you look carefully in the background you might just be able to make out the ghostly form of that man downing a swift snifter. How appropriate given recent events.

Happy 200th posting

Happy 200th posting

Ah well time to push on to the next 200. Now where did I put those pictures?

A funny incident

Good afternoon all. A bit of a bonus post for you all.

That man has been working from home today. He has been silently working his way through a massive mountain of paperwork and we have kept quiet with our heads firmly down. Well he finally completed part one of the task in hand and switched on his laptop to do part two. This was simple data entry and so he felt that he could have some music to cheer him up. He put on the Eurovision album from this year and gradually hit his mark as far as singing along was concerned. He was even dad dancing in his seat. Suddenly this very surprised face appeared by the open door to his balcony looking very shocked at the noise and movement. It was a window cleaner who had come along to do his windows. He did this and then moved on to his next job. We did laugh. Still it did save us from his caterwauling so hooray for that.

Meanwhile in other news Uncle Tache would like to make it clear that he did not recognise that man’s version of events of a recent train journey. His exact comment was we weren’t legless by Crewe. All I can say is that I was there and I am well known as the Eagle of truth. Just saying!

A tale of two trains

Good afternoon. Welcome back. This week I am going to get all political as I compare two train journeys so you have been warned.

Picture the scene that man and Uncle Tache are gathering together their belongings in the Eyrie before setting off for a weekend away with Big Nana in the north. At almost the same time that stupid plonker Mr Jeremy is preparing to go for a meeting in Newcastle travelling by train. Our heroes get to Euston and an uniformed railway official guides them to their seats on the train and offers them a little aperitif before departure. Meanwhile at King’s Cross Mr Jeremy is fighting his way through carriages full of empty seats but can’t find “two together” so that he can talk to his wife. After going through the whole train he sits in a vestibule and makes a video saying how awful it is that the train is full (even though it is half empty!). Eventually at Euston the train pulls out and the good life well and truly starts. At King’s Cross that nice Mr Branson nearly falls off his bike to try and show that nice Mr Jeremy is lying about the state of the trains. In both cases a public statement needed to be issued but only in one case did it deal with the problem of yobbish behaviour in First Class carriages on Virgin trains. Now I am hoping that you can work out which set of travellers this applied to.

Talk about living the high life. Our dynamic duo had a full set of First Class carriages to themselves and boy did they make the most of it. The first drink was in their hand even before the train had cleared the platform at Euston. They were “merry” by Watford (that conjunction of the concepts of merry and Watford is something you don’t see very often I can tell you!), pissed by Milton Keynes and legless by Crewe. That Celia Johnson would have been appalled to see such behaviour on the railways I can tell you. They had sobered up a little bit by Warrington and asked for another glass of red wine to remedy this situation. The steward just left them a nearly full bottle to finish off as he could see how the land lay. At the same time they were stuffing their faces with the evening meal offering. It was like the last days of Rome I can tell you. The train was about 30 minutes late and they just poured themselves off it and hailed a cab to take them home. What a trip and no video at the end of it.

We would like to offer our congratulations to our wonderful Olympians who did very well indeed at the recent games in Rio coming second in the medal table and winning more medals than in London. No country has done this before so well done to all of them. That man enjoyed the cycling and the horsies. We did discover though that little Bob the sheep doesn’t like horsies so that was all a bit awkward. We are not quite sure why Sheep and Horses don’t get on but they really don’t. His little bell was ringing all afternoon when the equestrian events were on. We are starting to think that he is a bit of a drama queen but that man is muttering something about taking one to know one and I am not sure what he is getting at. As a minimum I think it is fair to say that little Bob is very high maintenance indeed. Anyway well done one and all. As an aside Norway only won bronze medals but with only ten people in the country it is perhaps a bit tricky for them. Apparently they are waiting for winter Olympic glory in a couple of years time.

The weather has been very unpleasant recently and today it is very windy indeed. We are keeping Bob off the balcony for his own protection. We hope that you all enjoy your Bank Holiday.