Early advent musings

Afternoon all. Imagine the scene. I am sat on the settee and the light is fading. It has been a bright and sunny afternoon and the leaves are falling off the trees. That man has lit the candles and we are currently huddled round them thinking philosophical thoughts. Dreaming of cabbages and kings. It is that kind of day I tell you. One for careful thought and reflection and thinking of the year gone by and the year ahead. Now I don’t want to spoil any surprises but I am already thinking of the recipients of our Cliffie awards for 2016. Worry not that man will not be receiving one by accident this time round. Still that is yet to come once all the “inducements” have arrived. You have got the message I hope. All bribes cheerfully received. Just saying!

We have got family film night to get through first of all though. This can be quite an ordeal you know as that man only really does family films. This is a bit much when you are in the mood for some Tarantino and you end up with Toy Story 3. I tell you that man shouldn’t be allowed to choose. There are only so many times that you can sympathetically hand over some tissues and say “there there” in a caring fashion. I have never seen the end of that particular film as I am fast asleep by that time. I am sure that they all live happily ever after with Andy at college. Uncle Tache is with me on the choice of films but he is not around to support me tonight. I have a feeling that we will be doing some big screen epic one way or another. Thinking about it Uncle Tache has never seen Toy Story 3. I don’t know how he has managed to avoid it so far but I reckon this Christmas he is going to have to join the club. Bad luck mate!

A short one this week I fear. If I get going on world events I won’t be able to stop myself and that isn’t going to help anyone at this point is it? All I will say is that it feels increasingly like the 1930s and not in a good way I can tell you. Still I don’t want to disappoint my loyal fan base so to summarise we like Michelle Obama and don’t like Donald Trump. We absolutely loath that toad Mr Putin and Bob the Sheep likes Barry the Crocus. There that is better and we are now all caught up. Speaking of Crocus there are signs of life in the windownboxes. It is going to be lovely in spring time when they come through but we might be on for a Hyacinth or two by Christmas time. What an exciting start of advent thought for us all to hold on to.

A firm no

Good morning from a wet and windy London. Storm Angus is doing his best to rain on my parade and I am doing my best to ignore him.

I have to address a very serious issue with you this week. It has come to my attention that a small but determined group of followers have started a pressure group to start a spin off blog for Bob the Sheep. I have to say that I was surprised that your weekly blast of pure Clifford was not enough but that is the modern world for you. I have given this a lot of thought and I am afraid that the answer has to be no. Quite frankly Bob the Sheep is a bit annoying once you get to know him well. He is a a vain attention seeking wannabe with a massive bell habit. Also he really doesn’t do very much apart from developing irrational dislikes and crowd pleasing rabble rousing speeches. Just think of him as Donald Trump and you get the idea.

Now last night I was sat watching the telly and the Waitrose Christmas ad came on. It featured a Robin flying through all sorts of adventures to go and nibble on a Waitrose mince pie. I tell you that Robin needs a better agent and danger money. All he needs to do is fly north to Big Nana’s gaff and he could be dining on steak and chips rather than on a crappy mince pie that would give him tummy ache anyway. A much better deal in my humble opinion. I am afraid that we have to give it the wings down. On the other hand we really like the trampolining Doggie in the John Lewis ad. I hope that you like me in my literary critic role.

Not much else is happening at the moment. I have a feeling that Uncle Tache and that man are up to something but you never know with those two. It isn’t going to be anything important so nothing to worry about one way or another I think. The rain is getting worse so time to hunker down with a good DVD and hope that the Waitrose Robin has seen sense and got an easier job for his next performance.

Fan club news

Good morning all. Welcome back to my little world.

Well what an exciting few weeks it has been. Yes you are right to be impressed a truly world changing event happened in early November. No not that silly man getting elected to something or other-I was allowed to go on a plane again. I was whisked off to Bergen to see my stalker. I just felt that after the meeting of the American chapter of my fan club it was only fair to give the Norwegian chapter a fair crack of the whip to meet me. Well it wasn’t quite the rip roaring success it could have been you know. As you will recall there are only 10 people in Norway and they all seemed to have a bad cold. Needless to say I offered some bracing advice (man up and get on with you best sums it up) but it didn’t seem to make a difference. Anyway I hope that my Stalker is feeling a bit better by now and thank you for a lovely trip. On the flight home that man bonded with the crew and he now thinks he has a lifetime supply of lemon biscuits to show for his efforts. What he doesn’t know is that I have had a bit of a nibble so there might be fewer of them than he realises. Talking of fan clubs I am reliably informed that I might have the beginnings of an Irish chapter opening up soon. A big Cliffie wing wave to all my fans in the emerald isle.

Yesterday was Lord Mayor’s Show day. A little group of followers came to see me and then went and stood out in the rain for a couple of hours watching the parade. I stayed in the dry with Uncle Tache and I reckon I got the better part of that particular deal. I was able to meet a very sweet Lioness who travels in her own velvet bag and my old mate Cecilia. Thanks for coming along and lovely to see you all.

Not much else to report for now I think. There is some nonsense going on over the Atlantic but I am rising above it all. All I will say is that you can’t get a Polish bricklayer around here for love nor money anymore. I wonder what that is all about?

Holiday snaps

Afternoon all. I hope that you are all enjoying the extra hour. I set that man to uploading some snaps for you all to enjoy. It kept him out of mischief.

We start off with my last sober moment for a whole week.

My last sober moment of the week

My last sober moment of the week

We are soon underway and finally reach my little gaffe for the next few days.

My home for the week

My home for the week

This is me on my mantelpiece.

In my Park Avenue suite

In my Park Avenue suite

To give some perspective this is the fireplace.

At home

At home

Well it is off to the wide open sea of the East River and a classic view.

Two New York icons

Two New York icons

Then round the corner to Lady liberty.

Lady liberty

Lady liberty

Next we are off to the top of the Rockefeller Centre for a breathtaking view of downtown.

Manhattan skyline

Manhattan skyline

Don't look down

Don’t look down

Finally on to San Francisco and a view of the city from across the bay.

A lovely day on the water

A lovely day on the water

As you can tell a good time was had by all.

Meanwhile in other news Bob the Sheep isn’t too happy. He has seen there is a new film called a Street Cat Named Bob staring Bob the Cat. Needless to say he has lodged a protest as apparently only Sheep can be called Bob and appear in adverts all round London on the side of a bus. I think the rest of us have other ideas on that front. Meanwhile that man and Uncle Tache went for a lovely autumnal walk round Stowe where the autumn colours were at their best. Lots of rustling through the leaves.

We hope that you have enjoyed our snaps. It is off the Norway next weekend so a very different experience for yours truly coming up!

Travel-but not as we know it

Good afternoon all and welcome back to the Eyrie. That man has been suffering from jet lag. Of course, this means that we are all suffering too especially as he is up and about at strange times. I tell you it is cutting into my busy schedule. Hopefully we will be back to normal before too long.

As you may recall I was actually allowed out and about and was allowed to go and meet my American fan club. Over the years that man and I have had a few arguments but he always told me that travel was tiring and very stressful and that was why I had to stay at home. Well it turns out that there are other ways to travel and Uncle Tache has really opened up my eyes as to what is possible. I tell you how are they going to keep them down on the farm once they have seen gay Paree-or words to that effect. Let me give you a few examples. It turns out that you don’t have to travel in the hold. Some planes do have seats. Our first flight was on BA0001. It is a 32 seater business class only jet from London City to JFK and the one we were on was only half full. I tell you talk about living the high life. That man was so pissed even before he got on the plane that he couldn’t fill in his US immigration card properly. Once things got going there was a very free flow of wine and food and I don’t think either of my fellow passengers could walk straight let alone find the way to the exit-even though they were seated in seats 1A and B. A second scene and we arrive at the Warldorf Astoria on Park Avenue and we are given the key to our suite. The dressing room and bathroom were about the size of the Eyrie and they were only a small part of the whole suite. We had a lovely view over Park Avenue. Then on to the West Coast and sunny California. American Airlines first class is wonderful and that man and I were sat on our own away from the restraining influence of Uncle Tache. A combination of a very comfy lie flat seat, unlimited food and a policy that never sees a glass of red wine being allowed to be completely emptied resulted in a very rowdy row of passengers indeed. We were both just a wingtip away from busting our moves down the aisle as that man found Britney Spears greatest hits on the infight entertainment and we were seriously considering doing some dad dancing to keep everyone amused. Finally on the way home we actually made it into Club and we spent a very pleasant few hours tucked up in our own little bed. Now I know that it is so easy you won’t catch me agreeing to stay at home quite so much in the future.

Of course, the best bit was meeting my fans and bringing some light into their lives. New York saw the first meeting of my American fan club which I was actually able to attend. We did have a lovely time on the open top bus tour with the lovely Phyllis providing the commentary. Phyllis had a good line in patter and she was able to tell us all about where everything was in Macy’s. She also had a long suffering driver called Lou who was regularly abused and told to get a move on. We even made it to Harlem which was certainly interesting. You go girlfriend! We also had a high old time on the ocean wave and went on the circle line cruise round Manhattan which was lovely. Whilst on the cruise we had a great close up of the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. We were able to see where Big Nana started off her own american adventure many years ago-only joking we know that she went on the Queen Mary! We even managed to fit in a stroll through Central Park and a trip down 5th Avenue doing some window shopping. On the final day we went to the top of the Rockefeller Centre which is 70 storeys up in the open air. I was able to soar away and enjoy the whole thing.

In San Franciso we were able to spend the day on the bay and went on a ferry and enjoyed the clear blue skies and heat. You can see why people like living there. I also seem to have acquired a PA in the form of Dandy Diocletian Lion a rather lovely little black bear. The Hummingbirds were also out in force and send their best wishes to their English cousins.

My advice to you is that if Uncle Tache offers to take you on a trip then go. If that man offers then think carefully as he he has no sense of travel style at all!

Meanwhile in other news the Buckingham Gorillas would like to make it clear that they had no connection at all to the recent escape attempt at London Zoo-yeah right. Nice try mate!

A big Cliffie wing wave to all of the lovely people that we met and a big thank you for making it all such a memorable trip.

It’s New York baby

Good afternoon and welcome to midtown Manhattan. Yes I finally made it out of the country and am sat in my suite at the Waldorf Astoria on Park Avenue. I have been busy hosting a meeting of my American fan club. I have so much to tell you when I get back. All I can say is that the suite is quite considerably bigger than that man’s flat in London.

It is all go but I will fill you all in on my return. I am back off to Trump Tower to join the demonstrations outside it. What larks eh.

In the meantime a huge Cliff wing wave to Aunty Jen and Aunty Michelle and thank you for a wonderful weekend.

Bob escapes!

Morning all. It is a lovely morning here in the Eyrie. Cool but bright and we have got our windows open to air the place. That means that Bob escaped our security cordon and got out to see how the Geraniums were doing. He was in for a bit of a shock as this photo montage shows.

He got out and saw a scene of devastation. He said to himself-I am sure that there were plants here before. I am a bit confused. You can see that in the quizzical look on his face.

I'm sure there were plants here before!

I’m sure there were plants here before!

Anyway he carried on and had a sudden thought. Where are the Barries?

Where have my Crocus gone?

Where have my Crocus gone?

We have explained to him about bulbs so he is happy about that now.

Anyway we were worried about him being “Papped” by the local media desperate for a story as his cover is gone.

Bob trying to avoid the Paparsazzi

Bob trying to avoid the Paparsazzi

He came in at this point and we thought you might like a general shot of the devastation. Those plants are not going to do whatever they did again in a hurry I can tell you.

They won't do that again in a hurry

They won’t do that again in a hurry

We hope that you have enjoyed our little photo montage.