Category Archives: 2014

Happy New Year

What a week it has been for that man and everyone else.  Festive cheer and good will to all men have rather gone by the wayside in a frantic whirl of activity.  Meanwhile the Eyrie has become a haven of peace and quiet as we have spent most of the festive period paralytic on the sofa.  My little Christmas crates paid off and there was a lot of good will in the air as I threw the now legendary Eyrie Christmas bash.  I think it fair to say that a good time was had by all and Andrew did his normal party piece which is very impressive if you have ever seen it happen live.   Fun, fun, fun.  We even managed the clean up operation before that man got back.  I think it is fair to say that New Year is going to be a lot more subdued as that man will be here casting his normal grey cloud over everything.  Still he rarely manages to stay awake past about 8:00 so we can have a late one and no one will ever know.   Of course, this might come a bit unstuck if he decides to get up and do some housework in the middle of the night-it has been known to happen you know!.   We will take the risk though and see what happens.  Wings crossed for a happy party.

We actually received some useful audience feedback recently.  One of my followers told me that she felt that I had gone a bit soft recently and she wanted to see a bit more of my now legendary rants against Mr Putin and such like.  Now as you know I am always happy to oblige a follower-I am that kind of Eagle you know-so expect more cutting edge analysis of world events in 2015.  I wouldn’t want anyone to feel short change by the whole Cliffie experience.

Meanwhile in other news Minion madness has descended on the Eyrie.  For Christmas that man was very generously given a remote control Minion.  We are very much looking forward to seeing this in action as we feel that a lot of chaos will ensue as he attempts to drive it round the living room.  With any luck we will all be around next week to report on what happened when the Minion came to play!

Happy New Year from all in the Eyrie.

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Merry Christmas everyone

As the sun sets on this Christmas Eve I just wanted to show you that we are all sat waiting for Father Christmas. We can’t wait to see what he is going to bring and we hope that you all have a very Happy Christmas. Love from all of Team Clifford. Now where’s that drink I had poured for myself?

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas to one and all

Good afternoon all and welcome to Team Clifford.

Now I realise that some of you will be waiting for the review of the year. The more intelligent of you will realise that what happened last week was in fact our review of the year in a different guise. It was made more interesting for you all by having a personal element to keep your attention. A bit of a coup I think you will agree.

We are preparing for Christmas in the Eyrie in or own way. I am receiving daily deliveries of all sorts of good things and hiding them away ready for the big day. There has been a rumour that I will be appearing as Father Christmas at a local shopping centre but that is merely rumour. The idea that I would dress up in a little red outfit and give out presents to local urchins is quite frankly insulting. I am really not that kind of Eagle you know. Now, of course, that man might think about doing something like this but there isn’t a big market for old and miserable in this context so he might be challenged to find employment. No that he isn’t challenged in this respect anyway but I really can’t see him as Father Christmas unless it is in an episode of Father Ted and they are short of a Father Jack style character.

Anyway the traditional get together happened yesterday. There was a lot of food and drink and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. There was even a Christmas film to watch and the new balcony lights were turned on for the first time. They looked lovely so it is all very festive one way or another. The other advantage is that they enable me to find my way home much more easily after a heavy night out.

That is it for now. We hope that you all have a lovely Christmas and a good 2015. Love from everyone at Team Clifford.

And the winner is…

Good afternoon and welcome to my world once more.  I really enjoy our little voyages of discovery where we learn and explore together and I hope you do too.  Sorry I am still in award mode after the first Cliffie awards and really didn’t mean any of that bilge.

Now I can imagine some of my followers have been on the edge of their seats waiting to hear who has won the coveted “Follower of the Year” award-or the Cliffie.   Andrew, Willy and I were co hosting the event and we all got dressed up in our best bow ties.  What a sight we were to behold on the sofa dispensing good humour and awards like there was no tomorrow.  Now as you can imagine with us three handsome guys working together there was time for more than one award.  So here are the winners.

Best incompetent of the year-that man.  To all those clever dicks out there I know this is effectively saying he is good at something but being good at being incompetent is nothing to boast about-believe me.  Trust me I’m an Eagle

Best Eagle in a dramatic role-yours truly.  I really had to pull out all of the stops this year when some of my financial transactions came to light and I deserve an Oscar for my expression of naive innocence.   Move over George Clooney the Eagle has landed!

Best technical support-Uncle Mike for his help in sorting out that man’s IT issues.   Thanks mate I owe you one my sanity was hanging by a thread and you really helped out.

Best bargain hunter-Uncle Dave for his never ending pursuit of a bargain and for running that man ragged in Marks whilst buying a suit.  Ere I like a bit of a bargain I do!

Best Rabbit in a supporting role-Cecilia.  She has often been a much needed help and support this year and we are always very grateful that she is in our lives.

Best older relative in a dodgy situation-Big Nana for arguing with the consultant whilst he was actually performing a Hernia operation on her.  You go girlfriend is what this Eagle says!

Best new followers-Aunty Inez and Uncle Brian.  They have both started to enjoy blogs as a result of visiting this little haven of sanity and insight so well done on sharing the award this year.  Keep on blogging.

Best overseas follower-Aunty Michelle for her tireless support from a long way away.  Trust me I am going to post myself in a jiffy bag before too long so that I can enjoy the American lifestyle.   There must be room for a talented Eagle one way or another.  Cliffie for President can’t be too far away.

Best cook-Uncle Tache for his tireless efforts to actually make that man eat good quality food and for allowing me to join in on macaroon making duty.  Good on you mate and good luck with that man over Christmas.  He can be a miserable so and so you know.  We hope that you enjoy the pressies from us.

Best Mrs  Slocomb impersonator-Uncle Nick and his Cat Lola.  What a lovely pair they make.

Best Alpaca supporters-Uncle Dave, Aunty Liz and Aunty Mary for their tireless efforts on that man’s behalf to get an Alpaca installed on the balcony.

Best stalker-EOD  No one does it better than you and I did enjoy the quality time we spent together recently.  Hopefully you have recovered by now.

Best young person-the Apprentice.  Strictly speaking he is the only young person we know but we have to keep the numbers up one way or another.

Best flower girls-the three Taylor girls for a breath taking performance and for being such a joy to be with all day at Aunty Pand’s wedding.

Best wedding of the year-Aunty Pand and Uncle Jean Michel. What a lovely day particularly as that man had more Champagne to drink than he should and that always cheers us up!

Best family cook-Mrs Rine for her wonderful Beef tea and for ferrying Big Nana round the country. I know that man and Uncle Tache had a lovely time so thank you very much and woof woof to my doggy cousins.

That only leaves one more award-yes the big one goes to Uncle Rog for taking me to places that I had only really dreamed of before and for facilitating a certain photbombing incident.  Well done sir and congratulations.  Long may we continue to collaborate on blogging and other issues.

There you have it the first Cliffies.   Better than the Oscars as they have more categories.  I am off to the after party now.   I had heard that Sir Elton would be there but I suspect it will be a soggy bit of Celery stuck in my Virgin Mary.  Ah well a young Eagle can dream of better things!

It’s Vegas baby!

Afternoon all and welcome to my high minded musings. Yes brace yourself for the latest from Team Clifford.

Now a while ago I promised you all a Vegas special. It has been so dark and gloomy recently that I thought we all needed a bit of glamour to get us through to Christmas. Now, of course, I wasn’t allowed to go on this trip and had to stay at home whilst that man tried to work out the time difference. It really isn’t a very edifying spectacle to watch a grown man count the hours on his fingers. We also laughed when he realised that the hours were minus rather than positive so it did add to the general amusement of the whole scenario. He claims to be a business manager at work but trust me any business that he might run is in deep danger from the start. Anyone who can’t count beyond 10 without taking his socks off is in no fit state to do budgets-trust me I am an Eagle. Anyway how do you think that I maintain my current “lavish” lifestyle as I am good at figures and can remember the log in to his bank account with no trouble at all. Now have a look at some pretty pictures whilst I go off and order the Christmas cheer and I will see you again on the other side.

Guess where we have gone.

Vegas Baby!

Vegas Baby!

Trust Uncle Tache to use this as his little runaround. I wish I could have joined him as I could have made sure that the mini bar was well and truly emptied!

My little runaround

My little runaround

A place for all discerning travellers I can tell you.

My spiritual home

My spiritual home

My little pad out west

My little pad out west

I am hoping that man will be tempted to take a ride on one of the Donkeys down to the bottom. Uncle Dave did once and he said that he walked like a Cowboy for days afterwards. Imagine it a South London version of Woody from Toy Story!

Now that is what I call a Canyon!

Now that is what I call a Canyon!

Finally a little taste of some top rate industrial architecture. I reckon I could drink that lake dry given half a chance.

Hoover dam

Hoover dam

Now I am off to think about my review of the year and my new award for follower of the year. Stiff competition on this front so I am open to bribery to help me make my decision. A crate has just arrived and I need to go and hide it before that man gets back. What a life eh!

Happy holiday thoughts

Well I never thought that I would say this but that man has been quite tedious recently. He has had two weeks off work and so we have been spending “quality time” together. Well I say “we” but he pulled a fast one on yours truly recently and I am not sure if I can get over it. Anyway let’s start at the start.

Picture the scene. After about a year’s worth of planning that man set out for his annual holiday. This year he had decided to go to Bath with some of his friends. Uncle Tache was here as well and they set out together. They reached Paddington station and were waiting for the train when a familiar south London accent rang through the concourse shouting something about “ere this is a first class lounge and we can eat our body weight in biscuits”. They all met up on the train and had a whole first class carriage to themselves which was lucky with all of the bilge they were talking. They eventually reached Bath and found a lovely Georgian town house just by the Roman Baths. It was beautiful and elegant and everyone had a good time allocating themselves to rooms. There was a lovely formal dining room and Uncle Tache did the whole party proud by cooking a lovely veggie cottage pie. Aunty Helen brought a civilising influence when she arrived and all was well. One of my Uncles even pulled a Centurion in the baths as he offered to show him his wound. They all went to Cardiff on the Thursday and really liked it. The highlight of the week was meeting Dexter the Hawk at Cardiff Castle. It was only his second day on the job but I think he will do well. He had the right attitude and no Pigeon is going to stand a chance when he starts flapping around.

Anyway a good time was had by all and that man returned to us with Uncle Tache and EOD in tow. They all went out to lunch and when they returned he pulled a fast one on us all. One minute we were bracing ourselves for another weekend of nonsense and the next minute that man was heading out the door leaving EOD behind him with the instruction that he would be back next Monday. Now as you can imagine a power struggle ensued and I will give you two guesses as to who emerged victorious. By the end of the day I had him where I wanted him and he wasn’t allowed out of my sight for the whole weekend. To add insult to injury it subsequently turned out that Big Nana had come to Norfolk and that man hadn’t taken me to meet my co conspirator Uncle Rog. There was some nonsense about it being for my own safety but I don’t accept that for one minute you know. Typical as I would have been in my element plotting new schemes with Rog. Anyway Monday came round again and that man appeared again at an early hour. Things have slowly got back to normal. We Eagles like a bit of normality you know.

That man has developed a bit of a problem in his window boxes. It has been very mild recently and the bulbs have got the message that it is now time to come out and play. There are a lot of green shoots coming up and it is very early for them. EOD suggested that we lay pine branches across them to protect them but I am not sure it is going to be that easy to find a local pine forest to collect them.

As is traditional I would like to send a big Cliffie wing wave to Uncle Brian who has just joined our happy band. He has never read a blog before but likes mine and says that you have to read it carefully as there is so much in it. We like people of refinement like Uncle Brian so welcome on board mate.

Greetings from the Gorilla

Good afternoon. Andrew the Gorilla here pleased to be standing in as your guest editor.

There has been a small misunderstanding in the Eyrie. Following on from the excitement of last week Cliff had got it fixed in his head that that man was being transported. Now as some of you know that man actually does come from colonial convict stock so it was an easy mistake to make. He kept on saying that Devil’s Island would fit the bill and was quite surprised when that man actually turned up again. Of course, people had been talking about transportation in the sense of trains rather than shackles and long sea journeys. Having said that though anyone who has travelled on the underground at rush hour would be hard pressed to tell the difference. Anyway the upshot was that Cliff decided it was time for a break to get over his disappointment and so I agreed to step in as guest editor. Now the one key advantage that we Gorilla’s have is that we actually listen to that man when he speaks. I have spent quite a bit of time with him this week and he has given me more details of what happened last weekend.

I suppose we should pick up the story a week ago and that man and Uncle Tache had gone in to Bournemouth on the bus for a mooch round the shops. The weather was a bit iffy and by the end of the afternoon they had both got a bit damp. Suspicions should have been raised by the fact that the one bus an hour was missed by seconds and Uncle Tache seemed quite happy about that fact. Anyway an hour later they went back to Sandbanks on the bus and had some tea and cake at a cafe which revived them both. They dressed for dinner and went down to the bar en route to the restaurant. That man stopped dead in his tracks and thought that lady over there looks very similar to the lovely Aunty Mary and the man sat next to her looked a lot like her partner Uncle Neville. Well that was a bit of a surprise but could have been a coincidence. What was perhaps less of a coincidence was the couple that were sat next to them looked a lot like Uncle Dave and Aunty Liz who have both been very supportive of the idea of that man getting his hands on an Alpaca. Well this was getting very strange especially when someone looking like Uncle Mike was sat there but it couldn’t have been him as he was wearing a dinner jacket. After a couple of seconds of furious processing that man realised that Uncle Dave and Aunty Helen were also there. What a treat but it took him another half hour to work out that they hadn’t just all come together by chance but were actually there to help him celebrate his birthday. That was lovely as everyone had made such an effort and tears were very close. That man so enjoyed sitting down to dinner with everyone and to have Aunty Mary and Uncle Neville on one side and Uncle Dave and Aunty Liz on the other was lovely as he could see the other Uncle Dave across the table together with Uncle Mike and Aunty Helen. What made him feel so happy and humble was the effort that had gone into putting it all together. He was just so surprised that all of these lovely people would take time out to come down and share his day with him and he is very grateful. He would like to send a big Cliffie wing wave to everyone and a big thank you for making it such a memorable occasion. He also wants to say that Uncle Tache now has official hero status for organising it all and we all send him a big wing wave.

Meanwhile in other news that man has two weeks off work so it is time for us all to join in the fun. The bulbs have been planted and the window boxes topped up with some new compost. We are ready for the winter one way or another.

I hope that all of the followers are well and don’t worry Cliffie will be back quite shortly. If nothing else his money will run out soon as that man has put a block on his bank account. Ah well back to the settee with my friend Willie the Seal.