Category Archives: June 2017

Code aqua my a**e

Morning all and welcome back.

So that you can picture the scene we are all sat here coughing away as that man decided that it was time that everything had a good dusting. This has meant that we were all shifted around without a by or leave and now we are sat here settling down again. Still it is par for the course and we are used to it. I would like to say that it is a small price to pay to live in such wonderful company but I won’t try and insult your intelligence dear reader.

Well I suppose the big talking point this week has been the weather. It has been very warm here and humid too I should add. To give you some idea as to how hot it has been Uncle Tache has been going to work in some natty little polo type shirts. The net effect has been that we have kept close to home and tried to keep cool. Of course, it is handy having the lake just outside the window as our aquatic cousins can go and play in the lake and keep cool. Personally I have been spending part of each day in the fridge with my supply of Gin and Tonic and that has worked well for me. I am not sure how that man has coped in the unlikely event that anyone is interested. I think that he has been glad to go to “work” where the air conditioning has helped. We have been glad to see the back of him too so a bit of a win win situation all round I think that you will agree.

I have been inundated with request to know how young Conrad is getting on. Uncle Tache always says that he has created a monster as that man refuses to get out of bed for anything less than first class travel these days. I am feeling a bit the same about young Conrad. He has grabbed the attention of the nation and I understand that Simon Cowell is in advanced talks to give him his own talent show. However his mum and dad have done a good job raising him as he is really still the same down to earth young Coot that we have all grown to know and love. I always think of him as a bit like a modern day Gracie Fields singing his little heart out to the adoring fans. Anyway to answer the questions put to us he is doing all right and is growing up quite quickly. That man saw him only yesterday where he was grazing in one of the big residents gardens and he sends his best wishes (Conrad and not that man I should add in case that last sentence was ambiguous in any way!). Anyway all is well so no need to worry.

Progress is progressing on our new home. Only a couple of weeks or so and we get the keys and stuff comes out of storage. That man has come up with a moving in plan and we are all code aqua whatever that means. He will be issuing a briefing pack for us in the next week or so. That will be interesting. I think that he thinks that everything will happen in a neat and orderly fashion-dream on is what I say to that. We are planning our own riotous and outrageous train journey down to the new house which will be discussed for years to come and knock at least 20% off the value of the train company. None of this code aqua nonsense I can tell you. As Andrew said only the other day “code aqua my a**e”. Quite Anglo Saxon in its direct approach but also quite true. We do things in our own way in the Eyrie you know. Still it will be nice to be reunited with some of our stuff and I know that man is really looking forward to having his very expensive Hermann Miller chair back in his life. He is also quite excited about having some books to pass on to Uncle Tache. In particular he wants to find his copy of “Rebecca” as he thinks that Uncle Tache will enjoy it. I think this is probably fair enough as it is a cracking good read but I am a bit worried that he might identify a bit too closely with Mrs Danvers and that will not end up well for any of us if he does! If you have no idea as to what I am going on about read the book to find out-you won’t regret it if you do trust me.

Time to go I think. We are all settling down after our dusting and I think that it is time for another raid on the fridge!

Introducing Conrad

Morning all and welcome back.

I have big news to share with you. Now I realise that in this day and age news has to be very big in order to make it into this category. However, I think that you will agree that this meets this criteria when you find out what has been going on. What on earth is going on I hear you cry. I have a birdie rival right here in the Eyrie. There I have said it-that is better. What has happened is that I have been usurped by another birdie who has the cute factor in bucket loads. As you know I don’t do cute. Grumpy, petty and miserable are some of the words used to describe me-certainly not cute. Over the last couple of weeks though I kept on hearing about little Conrad. I should have been suspicious but it is often the Eagle that is the last to know. Anyway one day I heard this cheeping and saw my rival revealed in all his glory. Naturally I went out to say hello as I am nothing but polite and we have struck up a friendship based on the premise that you can’t go wrong if you are annoying that man. This works very well for both of us so that is good. In case you hadn’t heard little Conrad is a young Coot around town. He was born about four weeks ago and that man has been watching him grow up. He has gone from being a little bit of fluff to a rather fine little fellow in that space of time. He lives with his mummy and daddy on the lake and spends his time cheeping very loudly. Each morning that man now goes and stands by the lake and the whole family come up and say hello for a few moments. It makes him happy so I really shouldn’t argue I suppose. Still it is potential competition and for that reason I need to be careful that I don’t get entirely usurped. Having said that though-he is very cute indeed!

Conrad out with his parents

Conrad out with his parents

In other news the move to the West Country seems to be progressing. That man is left reeling by the daily demands on his purse and our trust fund but Uncle Tache is the voice of reason on that front and simply tells him that all will be well and not to worry. What a nice man he is. Speaking of this there are mutterings about part time working come the autumn. I am a bit suspicious of this and will be doing my best to encourage him out of the house at the earliest possible occasion on his “non working” days. We have things to do during the day and having that man hanging round will simply get in our way. That is all I am saying on the subject-for now.

Anyway it is a nice day out there so I am off to see if little Conrad can come out and play.

Sheep and Horsies-a mystery solved

Good afternoon all. Yes it is Cliff back from his short sojourn on Jersey where I “own” half a field of Jersey Royals as a vehicle for all of my investments that are vaguely legal. The other ones reside in Panama but don’t tell anyone that. Whilst I remember I should also say pinch and a punch to you all and wish you a happy June.

I hope that you enjoyed young Percy and his account of events over the past week or so. He is a nice young Duck about town that Percy so it was a pleasure to give him the chance to have his say. One interesting fact that he didn’t mention was what happened on Exmoor. As you know our Uncle Tache likes to drive in an “assertive” manner and we all enjoy our trips out in his little black rocket of a car. Well that man and he had been for a lovely walk to a rocky cove and then had a good lunch. They settled in for the drive back and were moving up a road with a very steep incline (25%) when they encountered a Peacock that if they had stopped would have required the mother of all hill starts. Needless to say the Peacock got out the way very quickly and harmony was restored. Off they went to Lynmouth for a cream tea and the sea mist finally cleared. Whilst they were sat in the tea room a Robin came up to their table and they were able to feed him on the table itself. I reckon this Robin was on to a good thing as he must have seen that neither of the dynamic duo could have given it any trouble after the mountain of chips and cake that they had consumed during the day! Then it was off to go home across the wild moors of Exmoor. If you want to define living life close to the edge try going over a cattle grid at 60 mph. Once over the cattle grid it was the wide open spaces of the moor. As they went over what should they encounter but a herd of wild ponies and sheep apparently living in harmony. Now we were quite surprised to hear this as Bob the Sheep had told us in very definite terms that Sheep and Horsies do not get on-full stop. Well we now know that this is not quite true as they live together on Exmoor. He is muttering something about things being different in the South West but I think that he will have to be careful as this is where we are moving to before too long. Anyway they get through this herd and round the next corner a mummy sheep is feeding her little lamb in the middle of the road. There was a tense stand off of sheep versus machine and the car eventually was allowed to proceed. What larks eh?

Now it is my heavy duty to issue instructions for voting for next week. As you know Brexit and this election have been going on for an eternity and we are getting a bit tired of it all. The fact that we now watch “Waiting for God” instead of the news tells you everything that you need to know. We wouldn’t do anything as crude as saying who you should vote for so all we will do is to encourage you to vote for soemone rather than allowing your vote to go to waste. I mean to say those Chartists and Suffragettes fought and died so that we could go along and vote for that waste of space Corbyn or that harpy May. Vote early and vote often is my message to you. Whatever the result it will be business as usual on Friday week. Until then I off to wash some money as it gets quite dirty planted in a potato field. I am not sure why that man is going on about money laundering-what a wally is all I will say.