Hello again

Good morning. I am back! Sorry for the delay but that man claims to have been very busy since he left “work”. Piffle and nonsense to that is this Eagle’s brutally honest opinion and as you know I am the Eagle of truth.

Anyway I have to report that we have had visitors. A little family of four came to see us recently. There were two young uns called Adam and Liam. We had a nice time playing with them and they are big Minion fans so that is fine by us. Happy days watching the films and discussing matters of high importance regarding the name of Kevin the Minion’s teddy-Tim by the way. We had a lovely day out in Weymouth. That man was put in charge of sandcastle construction and had a lovely time supervising his Minions as they rushed in and out of the sea filling up buckets of water to fill the moat. A lovely day out.

I was then warned by that man that my stalker was on his way. I was naturally rushing around to get things ready and that man became a bit cheeky. He asked me if I had secured my “valuables” and mentioned my bottle top collection. he can be very cutting but he will be laughing out the other side of his mouth when he discovers that I have all of the log ins for his online accounts. My European fan clubs duly arrived and were just settling in when someone discovered that he had left his bag on the train and it was all panic stations. Luckily the lovely Jade at Poole station took over and bag and owner were reunited. I am saying nothing about competence but I am thinking it! We had a lovely visit in the end and I was even allowed to go to bed with my stalker. I used this downtime to good effect as I knew where he kept his money and transmitted subliminal messages all night saying send Cliffie a lot of money. I am still waiting for the little brown envelope so my stalker might be stronger minded than I previously gave him credit for. Who would have thought it eh?

We have a new member of the crew as well. Her name is Millicent and she is a lovely white Alpaca. She has got a certain authority about her and so we are minding our manners at the moment. Worry not it won’t last-trust me. We will soon have her playing hide and seek with the rest of the pack. A picture will follow.

A big day today as Aunty Tracy is coming to see me. Aunty Olivia came along earlier this week so a bit of a sociable one for that man which is nice for him. It is also nice for us as we get fussed over which doesn’t normally happen. How nice life is today!

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Holiday report

Hello there. Pardon the liberty but I am your guest editor this time round. It is Percy the Duck here ready to report back on the recent trip out to Torrignton. If you recall I reported back last time we went there so it seemed right and proper that I should it again. I used to live in Uncle Tache’s car but I have come back inside now and share a cushion with Bob the Sheep-well someone has to I suppose.

The holiday started well with a return to the Haven hotel. We had a lovely sit on the balcony and sipped Champagne watching the sunset and then went for a lovely dinner. The evening went well until about 03:00 when that man woke up completely breathless and overheating. He flung open the door to the balcony and went and stood outside to cool down. This worked and he had the added bonus of seeing a lot of stars twinkling away. Ah bless. The next morning half a pig was consumed at breakfast and it was off out to our trusty steed. We set off and crossed the harbour on the chain link ferry and then the open road beckoned. We crossed Dorset in style and were soon ready for lunch in Axminster. After that a leisurely drive across to Torrington and our home for the next few days. The house is a lovely house dating back to 1701 and we were soon joined by Uncle Dave who came on the bus. This presented some problems as the bus stops in Torringotn are a bit confusing and that man and Uncle Tache couldn’t quite work out which one he would be arriving at. Luckily disaster was averted and he was safely gathered in. That man then opened a bottle of Champagne. Luckily this was done in the garden as the cork popped out and judging by the time it took to return to earth entered a low level orbit for some time. It was great that this happened in the garden or otherwise it would have wiped out a valuable 18th century plaster ceiling in one fell swoop.

The week went by in a haze of good food and drink. The staff at a local community cafe are all off on holiday as a result of a week of our happy crew eating there every day. The food was delicious and locally produced and the cakes were out of this world. The weather was good too and they could sit out whilst they stuffed their faces-sorry partook of a light luncheon. One day they went out to the RHS garden at Rosemoor which was a great day out. It is situated on the edge of the town and so was an easy trip. Just strolling and observing was wonderful and a good time was had by all. It was then that the funniest moment of the year occurred. That man was sat in the back of the car when we arrived at our next destination. The car was parked on a slope and gravity was not working in his favour as that man got stuck in the back of the car. He couldn’t quite manage to get the necessary momentum to actually get out and he and Uncle Dave were just helpless with laughter. It took a good few minutes to get him out and he eventually popped out like a cork from a Champagne bottle.

As you can see a good time was had by all. I am sure that Cliff will be back soon. In the meantime I hope that you are enjoying the good weather and weren’t washed away in the thunder storms.

What wedding?

Hello there and welcome to a royal wedding free blog. Yes we have decided to ignore events in Windsor as we have no interest in that particular farce. A couple of points to show which way the wind is blowing down here. As she is a divorcee why is she allowed to get married in a Church of England service and why is she wearing white? Just saying. If I had my way we would get rid of the lot of them and have a republic headed by your favourite Eagle. I think this is why I get on so well with my American fanbase which is considerable by now I can tell you.

Anyway on to more positive things. We are very much looking forward to the next couple of weeks as we are expecting visitors. Yes the summer season has started at our little B&B by the church. Last weekend Uncle Brian came down to see me and brought little Paddington along too. We did have a nice time and he is welcome to come back and visit anytime. My European fanclubs are preparing for the next version of Cliffiefest. I must say that I am looking forward to see what they have planned to celebrate me and my achievements. Don’t forget that there is a Cliffie award in it if you get it right and a public shaming if you don’t. No pressure then! More seriously in breaking news I have just been told by my legal team that it might be best to simply say that we are looking forward to seeing everyone and leave it at that-for now.

Summer really has arrived. It is getting warmer and that man has hidden a stash of mint Magnums in the freezer where he thinks that we won’t find them. Ignorance is bliss on that front I think he will find out before too long. This non working lark is getting a bit tedious now as he is very tedious. I don’t really like to tell tales out of school but we are getting a bit fed up with being asked which day it is on a dally basis. I think that we are all looking forward to a break from him before too long. On the plus side Uncle Tache turned up with a bottle of Rhubarb and Ginger Gin which should keep them both quiet for some time yet as it can knock your socks off even if you don’t wear them. Let the good times roll is what I say. In fact I am even willing to raise a toast to the happy couple as long as they agree to go on a very long honeymoon and we don’t need to hear anything more from them for a very long time indeed! Anyway I am off to raid the freezer as I am very partial to mint Magnums. Wish me luck.

You have done what?

Hello there and a good afternoon from a damp Poole. Yes it is raining down here on the coast but the plants are very happy, so Uncle Tache will be happy and by extension so are we. Simple really you know. Anyway it has been a while but we are still reeling from the latest revelation from that man and that has slowed us all down a bit.

Let’s start with some pictures that show you that the sun has been shining down here and that the plants are doing well. Here is the Wisteria in all of its glory.

Wisteria in full bloom

Wisteria in full bloom

A bit of a close up too.

Close up of Wisteria

Close up of Wisteria

The smell is very nice too as you stand by the front door. It will soon turn to leaf but that is good too as it provides me with some cover for some of my more illicit activities.

The courtyard is coming on well too and it is nice as we now have some garden seating to sit on which is very comfy. Some pictures will follow in due course.

I have kept you hanging on too long and I can sense some impatience for the big revelation. That man has decided that he is going to take the summer off. He handed in his notice at “work” and is now under our feet all day long. This is not too good and we will have to draw up an agreement covering some basics before we get too much further down the line. I can only take my hat off to Aunty Tracy and his other colleagues as I can now see what you have had to put up with during the course of the day. He can be tedious can’t he? Anyway he has purchased his leaving present and here they are.

Some new friends

Some new friends

In deference to the royal wedding the two badgers are called Beatrice and Eugenie and the Stoat is a definite Fergie. We hope that you like them and their names.

A shortish posting today but we hope to get back to you before too long with more thoughts.

Voting instructions

Hello there. I have taken a bit of a break as things have been a bit damp and grey here for the past couple of weeks. It has been non stop misery as the sky is always grey and it has been cold too. It also didn’t help that the hangover from San Francisco didn’t finally disappear until his week! Still all is well now as summer has arrived and we can cast our clouts for the year. I understand that Uncle Dave might still have his vest on for a little while yet but in general summer clothes can come out and we all feel better for a bit of sun you know.

We have a couple of new friends in the Eyrie. That man has taken to collecting Poole pottery animals and we have acquired a Crocodile and a Whale both of whom are integrating well. They were friends in the shop so that man was quite firmly sent back to buy both of them rather than split them up. I mean to say they hadn’t finished their chat so had to get back together to carry on their discussion of world affairs. That man can be quite insensitive at times you know.

Well we have reached that point in the year when we have to issue voting instructions. No not stupid local elections (why would you vote for either that loony Corbyn or that harpy May) but something much more important. Yes Eurovision is scheduled for next Saturday and we are getting ready. Initial thoughts take us north bound and we are torn between two songs. The first is from Denmark and is a simple tale of Viking folk. We like it a lot and we acknowledge our debt to our Viking relatives who brought culture and enlightenment to these god forsaken islands. The second is Finland which is called Monsters and is a good sing along song. We like both and as long as Russia don’t win we will be happy. Once more our Stalker has gone along to witness things first hand. Do look out for him. Having said that we did once see him during the final but it wasn’t in the audience. He was stood at a reception so perhaps all he actually does is to go along and eat and drink as much as he can for free during the week. It is an interesting thought you must admit.

Anyway that man sat us all down the other day and told us an important bit of information but we can’t reveal it for another week or so. Watch this space is all we can say. It is a belter of a revelation though so worth the wait.

It will soon be time for our next holiday and we are looking forward to it. We are off to sunny Devon which will be lovely but I am sure that we will speak before then. In the meantime we hope that you are enjoying the nice weather and making the most of it. I am off for a bit of a walk by the seaside which should be nice. If nothing else I can catch up with my little Seagull friends.

Wisteria

Hello there. I am back after a bit of a hiatus. I have been told to say that I have been having some down time following my recent trip. The real reason is that man has only just dried out and finally got rid of his hangover. I tell you that international travel is hard on the liver for some and there is a limit to how much Champagne can be consumed you know. On the other hand a lager glass that was bigger than me filled to the brim with Champagne was quite something and then to have it refilled was the cherry on the cake I can tell you! I am already looking forward to Chicago and it is months away.

It is all a bit grey down here and the weather has been somewhat variable. Last week it was all sunshine and hot weather and today it is dull and grey and cold. Anyway the cold weather has allowed some of our plants to catch up and I am pleased to say that the Wisteria is doing well. I thought that you would like to see a couple of pictures.

Wisteria

Wisteria

Wisteria

Wisteria

The even better news is that Figgis is starting to sprout some new leaves and seems quite happy after his quite severe haircut.

Uncle Tache has been out and about once more and spent last week in Dubai staying at a Versace themed hotel. He had a nice time by all accounts and even brought back some chocolates as a little gift so that was great for us all.

I would like to send a big Cliffie Wingwave to my stalker who hasn’t been too well recently. Get well soon mate!

I think that it is going to be a short post this week. We have some visitors staying and so things are a bit hectic today. More later on in the week I promise.

Sunny California

Well hello there. It has been a little while but I have been on an adventure to sunny California and quite frankly that man has only started to dry out now. Yes it was off to San Francisco and for once it was luxury all of the way.

The day started badly as that man had “forgotten” to tell me that I was off on an adventure and the first that I knew of what was happening I was being grabbed very early in the morning and stuffed into a bag. After a long walk up the High Street and a long wait on a cold and wet station our train arrived and we were off. I must admit that I had gone to sleep as I was a bit tired and the first time that I woke up was when I heard that man say that he had a surprise for me. Now those of you who have followed our odd relationship over the years should know that this is not always a good thing and I was quite sceptical when I saw we were stood by the “First Wing” at Terminal 5. He has been known just to take me along to these places before shoving me in a jiffy bag and posting me off to our destination. Shocking I know so here I am wondering what is going on.

Where am I?

Where am I?

Well the next thing I know we are checked in and going through our own private security channel and then off to the legendary Concorde Room at Heathrow which is reserved solely for first class passengers on BA. Perhaps more importantly there was talk of breakfast and I was getting quite peckish. Here I am saying “out of my way human scum” as we head off for breakfast.

Mess with me at your peril

Mess with me at your peril

Well we are soon in our own little Cabana and breakfast is on its way-hooray.

Brekkie at last!

Brekkie at last!

Well after that anarchy broke out and that man got me a glass of Laurent-Perrier Grand Siecle Champagne even though it was only 10:00.

This is the “before” shot

All relaxed now

All relaxed now

and the “after” shot.

Even more relaxed!

Even more relaxed!

Well it was a bit of blur after that until I woke up in seat 3K of the A380 destination San Francisco. Here are some shots of me settling in and finding some suitable reading matter. As you know I like to keep up with the latest trends in the world of fashion.

My suite

My suite

That's nice

That’s nice

A little reading matter

A little reading matter

A little reading matter

A little reading matter

You get your own little suite and the seat becomes a lovely bed at the touch of a button. Well that man and Uncle Tache soon slipped into their romper suits and were dining together whilst I got comfy settled in. The crew were wonderful and everyone was agreed that I was very cute. Well we know that this isn’t quite true but hey ho. All too soon we have arrived at SFO and they even put on a separate airbridge for me to disembark from and be the first at the queue for immigration. Now this was a it of a worry as you may have noticed that there is a slight anti Trump bias in my postings but all was well and I breezed through immigration and customs and it was off to the city in a taxi. I had forgotten that that there was this big thing in the sky called the sun and it was bright and warm for the first few days. The Hummingbirds were flitting round the garden and we all just chilled. Then it was off shopping where that man had a a few moments of madness and spent my entire inheritance in the bargain basement of Macy’s in about 10 minutes. We also went wine tasting in Sonomma which was lovely and very civilised indeed. For our final night we went to stay at the Mark Hopkins Hotel at the top of Nob Hill. The view was wonderful and here is a shot of it.

View from Mark Hopkins

View from Mark Hopkins

You can see the bay and a little bit of Alcatraz if you look carefully.

By Friday it was raining quite heavily and so it was a taxi back to the airport. Once there it was straight in to the lounge and the biggest glass of Champagne I have ever seen. It was really a lager glass and filled to the brim and was at least twice as tall as me. Still I did my best to finish it off and thank you to Andrew the lovely lounge manager who then came along and filled it up once more and we could do it all over again.

How much?

How much?

We staggered on to the plane and you can see that someone has at last recognised that I am a priority.

Heading home at last

Heading home at last

It was then back to the romper suits and a nice long sleep. The stewardess coming back was wonderful and called Kelly and she took good care of us.

I am exhausted just thinking about it all. The biggest Cliffie wingwave possible to Uncle Jeff and Uncle Bruce for taking such good care of us as well as to Auntie Arlene for her wonderful hospitality. A lovely trip and good prep for Cliffiefest in August this year in Chicago. I understand that it is First Class once more in a 747 this time. Spiffo!