Afternoon all. I warn you here and now that man has had a drink and it is all loud music and verbal abuse here in the Eyrie. I am a well brought up young Eagle and I really shouldn’t have to put up with this level of abuse you know. Still as you know I can rise above most things so I will do my best here.
Well it has been quite a week you know what with one thing or another. I suppose that it was inevitable that they would call an election just when we were looking forward to our summer holidays. As we were sat here thinking of paddling in the clear upland streams of Dartmouth and talking to some friendly Ponies that Theresa May destroys our hopes of peaceful tranquillity. Now it will all be hopeless wannabes hoping to elbow themselves to the front to have their 2 seconds of fame. At least that hopeless to***r Farrage isn’t standing. That would be too much to bear for any of us. Still we will carefully consider all of our options and send that man off to the polling station with strict instructions as to how to vote. Last time that happened he ended up voting for the Pirate Party as a protest vote. We had some sharp exchanges about that as we wanted to know who he was protesting about-Calico Jack? This time it will be different as we have learnt about a thing called a poxy-sorry proxy vote and yours truly will be flapping across the lake to go and vote on his behalf. Then we will see a change for the better as I plan to squeeze the rich until the pips squeak I can tell you. My hope is that nice Mr Callaghan will be re elected with an overwhelming majority. It could happen you know.
Anyway on to more pleasant things. Holiday planning is certainly in the air as we are all decamping to the sunny south west with a trip to Devon on the cards. It is not for a few weeks yet but that man and Uncle Tache have hired a lovely late Stuart townhouse in a rather splendid market town for a few days next month. It is to celebrate their first wedding anniversary (who would have thought it eh?) and so the car will be loaded with enough booze to sink a Dartmoor pony and we are all competing as to who will join them. I tell you those two know how to have a party so it will be a week of high jinks and frolics and we all want in. Speaking of the wedding I thought my readers might be interested in a proposal to actually demolish the hotel where they were married to create some luxury flats. I think this is a bit extreme myself but you can’t argue with the property market.
In the last few weeks the leaves have really come out on our local trees and we are now surrounded by a wall of green. This coupled with the lake makes this place seem quite bucolic. We are all preparing ourselves for the summer so you have been warned. It is going to be Gin and Tonics by the lakeside every evening. What bliss! Anyway I have to go now as Uncle Graeme is on his way over to measure up. Don’t ask!
Good morning all and welcome back.
First of all I should say that the fan club mob appeared right on cue to come and see me. It was a bit of a worry as there are some nice things here and we weren’t too sure if the occasion was going to be a riotous one. As you know Norwegians have a reputation for high jinks. Just look at those Vikings larking about all over Europe on their summer holidays. Anyway no need to worry as the Irish element kept everything under control and curbed the worse excesses that normally happen when my stalker leaves his home turf. Well done mate!
Things are beginning to settle down a little bit here now thank goodness. Hot food has been produced now that man has worked out how the oven works and some sort of routine established. We are still not sure how long we are going to be in this limbo so it is good to know that things work. I have to say that it is nice being beside the lake as our aquatic cousins can enjoy the proximity of water. It also means that we are making friends with the water fowl who call the lake home. We do like our new Moorhen and Coot friends you know.
As Easter is now upon us we seem to be surrounded by chocolate. All of the nice people that work with that man exchanged chocolate gifts during the week and they are now sat here waiting for the big day (the chocolate gifts and not the people I hasten to add!). We trust that they will be shared as otherwise that man is going to need a fork lift truck to move him if he consumes them all. Just saying! Anyway thank you to all the nice people who have sent us chocolate.
I know that you are all expecting me to have some comments on that nice Mr Trump. Well I do not like to disappoint but they are not quite as family friendly as some of my more delicate readers might hope for. What I can say is really more in the way of advice for that man. Now that they check your smartphone and social media presence once you arrive at the US border there might be some problems ahead. First of all he can never remember his passwords for his phone and once a border official reads this dribble they won’t let him in on the grounds of diminished mental capacity. I think that it is lucky that my US fan club are coming to see me this time round as I don’t think that he would get through immigration. We might be stuck with him for some time yet I fear. Ah well it is Easter and there is chocolate in the house so we might need to let it go – for now.
I hope that you have a pleasant Easter and will see you back soon.
Afternoon all. It is a bit sunshine and showers here today. I am not just talking about the weather either. I am expecting a joint visit by my Norwegian and Irish fan clubs a bit later on so I am bracing myself for some madness I can tell you.
Some of my more deranged fans have been pestering to see us in our new home. As you know I deliver what my fans want so here we are in our new home.
Our new home
As you can see everything is very tasteful and all is well.
That man has started to settle down now. After nearly a month he has discovered how the oven works so that is good news for all concerned. Now if he just works how the bottle opener works we will be well and truly in business! No really it has been a long time without a drink I can tell you. His normal trick is to discover a need for something. Now I need some kitchen towels we heard him say recently. I am sure that I brought over some from the old place. Where could they be? Of course we know as we watched him put them away about five minutes ago. No I can’t find them I will have to nip round to Waitrose to buy some more. Off he trots. Ten minutes later he is back with new towels. Now where should I put these? This looks like a good spot. Oh dear they can’t go in here as it is already full of erm paper towels. This has been going on for quite some time now and it never fails to amuse us. One day he will get it right but until then we are enjoying ourselves no end I can tell you!
I think that it might be time to go now as he is muttering about putting me away in a safe place if I don’t shut up. Blooming cheek I can tell you. I need to prepare for the arrival of my fans later on anyway. I really must find the bottle opener!
Morning all. We have all had a bit of a rest here in the Eyrie as that man has been away on holiday for the past week. Still the washing is on and he is back so I am back too.
Before we get on to that though I have to announce the arrival of a new friend. It is the lovely Lady Winifred and she hails from my American fan club. She is a little love I can tell you and we have already concocted some new schemes together. Thank you very much for sending her along and rest assured she is settling in well.
That man and Uncle Tache took to the wide blue skies and ended up in sunny Florida last week. Needless to say yours truly was not included but you can’t keep me from joining in and I managed to slip into the bag as that man was leaving. One of the key points about this trip was that they were flying first class on the BA A380 to Miami. Boy did they make the most of the opportunities available to them. The champagne flowed non stop as well as a rather lovely Burgundy. They each had their own private little suite which converted to a flat bed and were given sleep suits. That man was very keen on his and he had changed into it before the wheels were up after take off on the way home. He then snuggled under his duvet and was soon hammering them home. I tell you I could get used to this level of service. Fresh glasses of alcohol kept on appearing without having to ask for it and we even had Bucks Fizz for breakfast. Fantastic!
They both had a good time in Florida I can tell you. There was a very exciting trip along Alligator Alley and trips out to the beach on both coasts. More importantly they also managed to fit in some shopping trips to a couple of outlet malls. The staff in Ralph Lauren Polo did not know what had hit them I can tell you. Needless to say Uncle Tache had a succession of stunning outfits to wow our impressionable colonial cousins. That man didn’t quite manage to reach this mark though. Instead he donned a pair of trainers for the duration. When coupled with the long sleeved shirts and long pants they made him look like Forrest Gump! I tell you whatever the glamorous location that man can bring it down to his level.
Now what has caused us such mirth I can hear you ask. Well on one of these shopping trips that man actually bought two new shirts. Needless to say Uncle Tache had also purchased half of the shop and they proceeded in an orderly fashion to the check outs. All well so far. The lovely lady behind the counter rang up their purchases. She then took one look at that man and without asking gave him the senior citizen discount. For those that don’t know this he is at least ten years away from that particular landmark. What a discerning cashier. You really do have to laugh at these things I tell you and this has cheered us up no end! In the meantime we have to cope with the come down from first class. I haven’t had a glass of Burgundy for at least 10 minutes-it is not good enough you know.
Well he has done it again you know. Just when you think that man has no more tricks up his sleeve he just pulls another one out. Of course, the clues were there. The unexpected visitors, the unnatural level of cleanliness, the people with the clipboards. It just didn’t click that something was actually going on. Well you know that man. He keeps on putting things off and never achieves anything much. Well this time he has gone and done it. He has actually sold the Eyrie. Can you imagine that the single word exchange could have such an impact on us young innocent creatures. The thing that most galls us though is that we weren’t consulted about how to spend the money from the sale. As you know I can be very creative when I want to be and creative accounting is my favourite occupation. Just imagine what I could have done with that fund. I could have moved us all off shore and I mean somewhere warm and not the Isle of Man. Instead the ominous word storage is being used and I don’t like the idea as to where that is going. I am told that there is an end game in all of this but so far this has not been revealed to us mere inhabitants. We are just to be packed up. It is just like Toy Story 3 all over again but they didn’t have to deal with Bob the Sheep and his little bell in a confined space 24/7. I think my sanity is definitely hanging by a thread.
Anyway in cheerier news the sun has returned to the Eyrie. Yesterday we were all sat (happy days when life still seemed good!) in the early morning when the Eyrie was filled with the early morning sunlight. How lovely as we all blinked and saw the levels of dust that it showed up. Still a magical moment on a par with mid summer at Stonehenge. Family film night later-I might suggest the Great Escape just to get some ideas!
That man here in a rare intervention -as you can tell Cliff has taken the news as well as I was expecting him to. Worry not I have a decent bottle of red open and breathing and soon all will be well once more!
OK we have a news leak type of situation here in the Eyrie. Yesterday I specifically asked for silence on the appearance of Barry the Crocus. This morning at 06:00 the dreaded bell started to ring and we had a very excited sheep to deal with. He wanted to go and see Barry as soon as possible. We all set off and captured the reunion to share with you all.
Spring break 2017
I think that it is safe to say that Spring is truly on its way.
Welcome back. Worry not I am still here. I have had to dig my way out from underneath the little mountain of enquiries as to my health and well being. Well if we are being strictly accurate one of my followers did ask the other day if I was all right. That is enough for me though.
Sorry for the break but circumstances intervened. No not the Police court but that man’s illness. He has been a miserable so and so and we have all been in our happy place trying to ignore him. Still better weather and a slow improvement have brought us back from the edge. What a change there has been as well. Early signs of Spring are coming out. The bulbs are in full flower and we have a daffodil and crocus in flower. Please don’t tell Bob this though or else he will want to go on one of his little adventures which get very tedious for us Sherpas carrying his ego on behind. Still it is a bit warmer and brighter so hooray for that.
In some breaking news my links with my American fan club are continuing to grow. I am pleased to announce that this years Cliffie fest will be held in good old London town. A whole week of fun and frolics all centred round your favourite Eagle. What a lark eh.
I have come to a momentous decision you will be pleased to know. I don’t feel able to keep up the everything that is happening in Washington at the moment so I have decided to stop following the news from Trumpton. Life feels better as a result so I think it has been a good choice. Unless of course this is fake news. Only you know that dear reader.
A short post this week as I get back in to the swing of things. Off north next weekend to see Big Nana but I am sure that we will catch up soon.